• Tue. Jul 16th, 2024

In Life and Liberty: Kellyanne cons her way

Kellyanne Conway, advisor to the President, is breaking the news that no one else has dared to do. She is truly going places and will someday find herself a nice little spot on Fox News.

The massacre at Bowling Green is truly heartbreaking and totally explains why we needed a travel ban.

It would be even more heartbreaking if it had truly happened. However, Kellyanne thinks it’s unfair that people would give her flack for screwing up facts. First of all, she screws up facts all the time, so give her a break. This is just what she’s been trained to do.

Second of all, people make slips of the tongue all the time. And according to Kellyane, that’s exactly what this one. Who doesn’t mess up which colleges have had horrific shootings?

Kellyanne has said that what she meant to say was Bowling Green terrorists, instead of Bowling Green massacre. Two very similar words that are very easy to mess up.

However, this isn’t the first time that Kellyanne has used the words Bowling Green massacre. In an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine, your source of all trusted news and information, she described the massacre in detail.

She seems to believe that two Iraqi nationals were arrested for their plotting an attack that took U.S. soldiers lives in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

In all actuality, two Iraqi men were convicted of trying to sell weapons to al-Qaida and they were also convicted to trying to help al-Qaida carry out attacks on U.S. soldiers in Iraq.

No soldiers were harmed in the making of the Bowling Green massacre.

Kellyanne has since said that the media published her comments without asking for clarification first. And that’s really important because when you say stupid things on national television, it is always the media’s fault.

To Bowling Green, the President sends his condolences to those whom they have lost and reassures them that banning travel to and from Iraq will totally prevent people from becoming radicalized.

The real victim in this attack though is the truth, which Kellyanne and her soulmate, uh President, Donald Trump have shot to death multiple times.

There’s the voter fraud, the crowd size and this fictitious massacre are just some of many of the “alternative facts” that have been spread.

Meanwhile, Kellyanne and her reputation is also taking some shots as CNN elected not to have her on one of their talk shows and many other people have been encouraging news outlets not to interview her.

Of course, Kellyanne cannot stop talking and last week, she went onto her favorite show in the world, Fox and Friends, to talk about Trump’s daughter Ivanka. Ivanka’s line was pulled from Nordstrom and the Donald quickly took to Twitter to defend and immediately sent out his minions to talk about it.

Kellyanne decided to violate ethics rules and tell people to go and buy Ivanka’s stuff, which she is not allowed to do as a White House employee.

Kellyanne honestly has no idea what she’s doing at this point, she’s just saying random things so she can run out as fast as she possibly can.

If anything, this large media debacle has proven one thing. Fact checking is very important. It’s easy to get caught up in sharing posts and retweeting things, but sometimes the news isn’t right.

People like Kellyanne can easily spread a mistruth that soon gets out of hand. Always check the facts for yourself because in the era of Trump, who knows who is telling the truth anymore.

Laina Yost
Managing Editor