Being an average, every day human has its perks. You get to stand in line for an overpriced cup of coffee. You get to sit in traffic forever just because other people don’t know how to merge into moving traffic.
Some days though… Some days you want to be extra special. You want to be a superhero.
There are some tricks to being a superhero, but it won’t be anything challenging. Okay, there’s one thing. We’ll get there in time though.
So, the first and most important thing to know about being a superhero is that you need an alter-ego.
You can’t just go around in your costume and tell everyone that you’re the vigilante here to save the day. No, Batman is Bruce Wayne; Clark Kent is Superman. You, my fine friend, need to live two separate lives.
Next you’ll need to get your superpowers. There are a few different ways on how you can accomplish this.
(Oh, remember how I said that one thing would be challenging? This is the challenging thing.)
As I was saying, there are a few ways to gain superpowers. You could go explore in a scientific lab and find yourself a vat of something to “fall” into. While you’re at it, go ahead and start doing your own science experiments. If something happens to go wrong, you may end up with some powers that way.
If you’re feeling feisty you could also try exploring the forest or some other remote part of the world and get bitten by a bug. That worked for Spider-Man, except he was in a lab. (Look! Science again.)
Another way to gain super powers is to essentially have a fortune and buy your way into the superhero role. It works for Batman and Iron Man.
The last way to be a superhero is to become a god or alien. Thor is a god. Gamora and Drax the Destroyer are aliens. (I would stick with science if I were you though.)
Now it’s time for the costume you’ll need. As we have all been told by Edna Mode from the ‘Incredibles’ – “NO CAPES!”
You do need a mask though. Clearly only covering your eyes works the best for not being recognized. Everything else is up to you. Wear pajamas if you want.
Now it’s time to assemble your super friends.
You’re going to want a sidekick. Sidekicks are there to help you out but only when you really need it. You’re the hero, remember?
There are also not as cool as you are. You should pick someone that’s willing to wear their underwear on the outside of their costume.
If you’re more of a team player, you could always create a league of heroes and give your group some kind of catchy name, like the Justice League or the Avengers. Those are taken though.
Within this group everyone is going to be collectively different. That’s what brings you guys together and makes things work. One person can fly, another talks to fish, one has a truth lasso, you get the idea.
There will be an obvious leader, too. If you have a passion for leading and being the favorite among humans, you are the best person for the job. On the other hand, you’d also have to take most of the heat if your team failed.
Being an average human doesn’t sound so bad anymore, does it? I don’t think I’d mind waiting for coffee and traffic now.
Besides, every average human is super-duper to another average human anyway.
Brittany Fletcher
Designer