Being an adult is hard, especially when you have to pay bills and make your own doctor appointments. On the other hand, being a child can be rough, too, because most of the time you’re just whiny and don’t know what you even want.
In case you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a child, today we’re taking it back to elementary school.
I am a 25 year old college student that still hates peas. (They are the Devil’s food.) My brother is 21, and he basically eats steak and mashed potatoes when he goes out. We are essentially still children when it comes to eating.
Kids can be incredibly picky eaters. So, whenever you go out to eat you should only order chicken nuggets. What if they don’t have those?
You either have to beg the people you’re with to leave right away, or order a burger with nothing but bun and cheese.
Pizza will also never be anything more than just sauce, but not too much, and cheese. If you get something to eat that has a sauce or topping that you don’t like, you have to pull it off or starve.
Since you’ll be hungry later though you can always snack on glue and Play-Doh. Eating random things that aren’t actually food is usually what kids amuse themselves with. Actually, putting anything in their grubby mouths amuses them.
I don’t advice eating glue and Play-Doh though. I tried the glue thing in elementary school. It’s way more fun to dry it on your hand and peel off than it is to eat.
Your favorite things while being a child are going to be cartoons and crayons.
Cartoons are essential to any childhood existence. You have to watch them every morning before school but most importantly on Saturday morning because “that’s when all the best ones are on TV.”
If you’re in on a long trip, you better have some cartoon-watching device on standby. Otherwise you’ll get bored and cranky, and no one likes a cranky kid.
Crayons are a key tool for childhood creativity. You’re not allowed to have markers because they are a pain to clean up after. Colored pencils are too dangerous because you could lose an eye. Crayons are safe because they are non-toxic in case you decided to munch on one, and they are much easier to clean off the walls.
Don’t color on the walls on though! That will get you into time out. More on that later.
If you don’t have cartoons to watch, you better hope you have crayons and a coloring book. This was my preferred method of entertainment as a child. I still enjoy coloring more than watching TV.
Your least favorite things are going to be naps and time out. It’s all because you have to be still and not let out all that extra energy that children somehow have.
As a child you will have a love-hate relationship with naps. You’re never going to want them, but oh-my-Lanta are you going to need them. Kids are hateful, grumpy and cranky when they don’t get naps.
It will be a pain to fall asleep, but once you do and wake up feeling refreshed, you get to go back to playing with Legos and eating Cheetos.
Cherish those childhood naps because as an adult you won’t get very many. (Unless it’s a Saturday and you’re off work and only have homework to do so you opt for taking an hour and a half long nap first.)
Time out is the worst for kids. It’s a simple punishment to place on them though. Sit in a chair for a certain amount of time. Don’t get up or mess with things, sometimes don’t talk to others, and if you do the time starts all over.
Kids haaaaate it. They don’t have the patience to sit still for 30 seconds, much less five minutes.
Being a kid can be great. So many adults want to go back to childhood for the naps and the recess, but there are other adults who still act like they’re 12 years old. Just remember that if you’re an adult that acts like a child on a regular basis, we other adults don’t have time for that.
Brittany Fletcher
Designer/Intern