A few weeks back I was on “Overwatch” with a group of four other friends. We had an invite from someone on our six person team, whoever the host was accepted it and the individual joined the voice channel with us.
At the same time, I was making some abortion joke because despite being oddly pro-life, I have a sense of humor that can appreciate the most uncomfortable topics. Well, turns out not everyone randomly that I encounter on the internet, much like real life, chooses to use humor in the same way I do–she didn’t think my joke was funny. It was actually a series of jokes, and they were pretty funny and well received even among the group I was playing with that has several different stances on such a serious issue.
She made vague, potentially passive aggressive comments and I couldn’t understand if she was just an actual dorrito-eating korean brat or if she was just getting into character as a D.va player. It was all a non-issue to us, it was a moderately difficult matchup. I synergized well with her playstyle, together we won after some questionable retreats from our side.
As we were congratulating each other, she resumes her voice channel and comments “Wow, a girl beat you. You got outplayed by a girl.” She said some other inane nonsense that left all five of us dumbstruck.
One, we were all on the same side. We were each responsible for the victory and it was because of our team effort that we got it, how did we get outplayed when we weren’t competing against one another? Two, not one of us said anything about her biological sex. None of that remotely factored into our experience. Where did all her salt come from and how many levels of mental gymnastics did she have to jump through to somehow turn an online gaming experience, that went extremely well, into some personal victim of the evil cybernetic patriarchy?
The only person to say anything disparaging about someone’s sex was herself. If my abortion jokes that lasted a whole maybe minute and a half of an extended metaphor were too triggering and problematic for her experience, I’m not sure if she’s capable of stepping outside into the real world where she may have to realize the intense, traumatic experiences of events like actual abortion and its impact regardless of perspective. If you can’t handle a joke you certainly cannot handle the real thing.
I guess she just threw out all those positive affirmations we gave and our ability to congeal as a team because the patriarchy made her. But really, girl? Are you holding onto this notion that gaming is some massive, sexist conspiracy to put women in the kitchen and make rape legal or something? Gaming, unlike many less fortunate countries, does not provide a legal means to oppress women or to abuse them.
People often thought I was a girl while I was gaming before all this fancy audio capabilities existed because of my gentler persona and my passivity. They didn’t treat me any differently when they found out I was a guy. Some never found out, because your sex doesn’t come up in your gaming experience typically at all. I don’t just walk into a chatroom about which medieval flail is most ideal for a specific character class and build and feel the need to assert my genitalia. I am not the Amy Schumer of “Overwatch.”
Are you good and are you fun to play with? That’s usually all people care about. Honestly, it’s much more the second one. I’m awful at some games yet I still enjoy losing if I’m with friends just enjoying passing the time together.
Whenever some woman gets ants-in-the-pants about how they’re treated in some online game, I pretty much raise my eyebrows in disbelief. They’re complaining about some thirteen year old who said something sexually suggestive and go on about how discouraging it is for them to try and game with that environment.
Meanwhile, that same thirteen year old is treating all the men in the same game by calling everyone some homophobic or racial slur, threatening to invoke coitus with their mother, threatening physical violence and usually murder or something. But I guess the reality that it’s easier to get under a girl’s skin when you use commentary about their sex and thus the experience of a girl gamer may involve flamers strategically using that must mean that gaming is just no place for women.
In this political society, I have a hard time believing people are having issues having their perspectives or opinions met with other perspectives and other opinions. A troll’s goal is to get at you in any manner possible. Men have been the subject of trolls long before women entered the hobby and survived. It’s the same percentage of personality types that pursue these negative avenues, but the gender lens seems to forego all of the flaming men experience and instead present the gaming community as some woman-hating band of kids.
I’ll just say this–we can’t go around placing our adult expectations to children in their adolescence. You’re playing with children at times and there will be tantrums, immaturity and your usual complexes. It sincerely doesn’t mean you’re a good person to go around parenting everyone else’s child to reassure yourself of your potentially fragile perspectives. Do you actively hunt for ten year olds to combat with your ideology? May I suggest some perception checking, then?
Something, something, lack of equality and thus surely my personal issues with how I handle toxic gamers is evidence enough to damn the entire hobby. I better spend propaganda and coerce my female friends into missing out on a surprisingly welcoming community that is perhaps one of the least sexist out there. If you’re good, you’re good. Your rank depends on your ability, not your sex. Maybe your attitude does, too.
Barton Kleen
Executive Editor