Dear gabby,
I have been in a relationship for about 2 years. Recently she’s been so busy that I feel like she’s never around. It’s been really hard because I feel like I’m losing her and the love I once had for her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s so perfect and the best I’ve ever had but I feel like maybe we’re growing apart or that we’re hanging on by a thread. I’m really scared and I guess maybe I’m just stressed in other aspects of my life so it’s really tearing me apart. I’m not sure if we should go our separate ways or that im just so stressed about everything that im blaming it on her. But I’m starting to think maybe I should try to find someone else. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Lost without love
Dear Lost without love,
I think it’s hard when you’ve started to make a life with someone and you start to see yourself as a unit. Once you’re connected, it’s hard to break away when maybe it’s possibly time to do so. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be together, but maybe it’s time to reconsider what’s important to you in a relationship.
Start to look at yourself and your goals as an individual. If she doesn’t match your goals and future ideas then maybe it’s time to separate, but think about what you want first. Does she still fit in your life? If so, then make sit down with her and discuss what’s bothering you and come to a compromise.
She sounds incredibly busy, but if it’s because she’s working on accomplishing her dreams then in my opinion, I don’t think it’s ok to be mad at her. It may be frustrating, but ultimately she’s working toward a future and staying true to her personal goals.
Maybe you should start looking at accomplishing some things for you, so that when she’s busy you’ll also be busy. Maybe it’s as simple as creating a date night once a month to spend some time together. Maybe also time to reevaluate why you’re together and if you are hanging by a thread, don’t feel obligated to keep holding on if it’s something you don’t want anymore—that just makes it worse and it’s exhausting.
Another side is looking at your professional life and your career, is that stress overpowering your relationship? Sometimes we as human beings get caught up in a variety of different problems and instead of taking one thing at a time we get so overwhelmed that every “problem” in our life melts together and creates more emotions and issues than what he had imagined in the first place.
Take a few moments to breathe. Evaluate yourself and then your relationship. It’s ok if you’re a different person than you were before. Change is good and if it’s time to move on, that’s ok too. Don’t be afraid to evolve.
Trust yourself,
Gabby