Dear Gabby,
I’ve had a crush on this guy for a long time, and we’re finally talking now but I’m afraid of getting into a relationship with him because he lives in California. I would be able to see him often but I don’t know if we could make this work.
We are both really compatible and he makes me laugh. I trust him, but I’m scared that the distance will ruin the relationship we currently have.
I don’t want to lose him, but I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to someone who lives so far. I don’t want him to think that I don’t like him, because I really do.
I just don’t know how I should tell him that we should wait until I’m done with school and have a more stable life. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Miles Apart
Dear Miles Apart,
I think honesty is the best policy. Tell him your thoughts and fears about the distance, and how important it is to wait until you graduate. I think that is reasonable, and if he feels strongly about you then he should respect your feelings.
Think about the future for a second—do you see yourself moving there eventually? Distance is a tough situation. It takes the strongest people to hold on to a relationship that is miles apart.
Do I think it’s impossible? No, not at all. However, it takes a lot of communication to keep any relationship strong, especially a long-distance relationship.
Do you think it would risk your friendship? I think it’s important to see the value in friends. Ask yourself, would you rather see where the relationship could go, or would you rather stay friends and fight the urge to want to be in a relationship?
I think it’s important enough to weigh the options and focus on what’s best for you now. Be honest about your concerns, along with how much you like him. I don’t think it’s wrong to focus on graduation and bettering yourself. If he’s willing to be understanding, then maybe the future will make more sense to you.
Best Wishes,
Gabby