Dear Gabby,
Lately, I have been feeling insecure and very influenced by the opinions of others. I don’t know how to get out of my funk, or how to not let the comments of others persuade me to think a different way than what feels comfortable for me. I want to eliminate the negativity in my life, but I don’t want to just cut off all connections with my friends. How can I build my self- esteem up, and/or let my friends know the things they say sometimes don’t need to be said.
Sincerely,
Bummed out
Dear Bummed out,
Hey there! I’ve been in similar situations, and I can say it’s a normal feeling, so don’t feel like it’s unusual. Unfortunately, with our technology and the craziness of the media, we can feel persuaded to act, look and feel a certain way. Until you fully accept yourself, you’ll always be struggling with the comments of others. Personally, I think it’s exceptionally hard to overcome a comment from another, when you, yourself, also might feel as if the comment is true. People try to blow out other people’s light, to make their candle burn brighter. News flash: It’s a reflection of them, not you. I know it’s easier said than done, but I promise once you come to peace with that, things will make a bit more sense. I think it’s important to immerse yourself in things you love. Whether that be cooking, reading, dancing, drawing, hiking, etc., it’s important to find that one thing that allows you to get lost and find yourself at the same time. As for your friends, if you feel comfortable with being straightforward and honest with them, then let them know their comments hurt. Hopefully, you’ll only have to say this once, and if they are true friends they will be considerate of your heart. If they don’t understand, maybe reevaluate why you still keep them in your life. I think it’s more important to have a good relationship with yourself, rather than try to find happiness in others. Play a little game with yourself, and see how long you can go without thinking negative thoughts about yourself. Yes, I know what you’re thinking this won’t work, but give yourself time, and stay focused on being positive. Sometimes all you need is a different outlook on life. Fall in love with yourself,
Gabby
,
Lately, I have been feeling insecure and very influenced by the opinions of others. I don’t know how to get out of my funk, or how to not let the comments of others persuade me to think a different way than what feels comfortable for me. I want to eliminate the negativity in my life, but I don’t want to just cut off all connections with my friends. How can I build my self- esteem up, and/or let my friends know the things they say sometimes don’t need to be said. Sincerely,
Bummed out
Dear Bummed out,
Hey there! I’ve been in similar situations, and I can say it’s a normal feeling, so don’t feel like it’s unusual. Unfortunately, with our technology and the craziness of the media, we can feel persuaded to act, look and feel a certain way. Until you fully accept yourself, you’ll always be struggling with the comments of others. Personally, I think it’s exceptionally hard to overcome a comment from another, when you, yourself, also might feel as if the comment is true. People try to blow out other people’s light, to make their candle burn brighter. News flash: It’s a reflection of them, not you. I know it’s easier said than done, but I promise once you come to peace with that, things will make a bit more sense. I think it’s important to immerse yourself in things you love. Whether that be cooking, reading, dancing, drawing, hiking, etc., it’s important to find that one thing that allows you to get lost and find yourself at the same time. As for your friends, if you feel comfortable with being straightforward and honest with them, then let them know their comments hurt. Hopefully, you’ll only have to say this once, and if they are true friends they will be considerate of your heart. If they don’t understand, maybe reevaluate why you still keep them in your life. I think it’s more important to have a good relationship with yourself, rather than try to find happiness in others. Play a little game with yourself, and see how long you can go without thinking negative thoughts about yourself. Yes, I know what you’re thinking this won’t work, but give yourself time, and stay focused on being positive. Sometimes all you need is a different outlook on life. Fall in love with yourself,
Gabby