I was helping my daughter up the stairs the other day when I noticed that she was having more trouble than usual. She was using the stair rail to pull herself up onto each step, but she wouldn’t let go once she got there.
I tried gently to explain to her that she would do much better if she let go of the rail behind her so that she could grab hold of the rail in front of her. As any toddler would do, she ignored me and kept up with her laborious task.
It got me thinking, though. How often do we have trouble moving forward because we won’t let go of something behind us?
One of the hardest things for me to let go of is anger. I don’t get angry very often, but when I do you’d better watch out. I was angry with a friend of mine from high school. We got into a fight in 2001 and didn’t speak to each other for years.
He found me on Facebook in February. When I saw his message, I freaked out. I had lived in three different states and gotten married since then. Questions littered my mind. How did he find me? Why did he want to talk with me? Should I write back? Should I “befriend” him on Facebook? Should I ignore him? What would my husband say?
I was too scatterbrained to answer any of these questions myself, so I asked my husband and a few others what they thought. They all said the same thing: we both have probably grown up enough over the past nine years to have a conversation as adults. If not, I could always go back to ignoring him.
So I took a chance. I messaged him back without befriending him asking why and how he found me. Turns out he had come across my name while searching an old high school network. Then he said something that stuns me, even today.
He said he was sorry.
I couldn’t believe it. After nearly a decade, all he wanted was to apologize.
As I read his apology, I realized that I had been holding on to bitterness, anger and resentment towards him my entire adult life. I never wanted to be that kind of person, but there I was, bitter and resentful towards a friend who just wanted a little forgiveness.
It took me a few weeks, but I finally let go of all that anger. In return, I’ve discovered a new friendship.
I guess my daughter’s not the only one who had to learn how to let go.