Have you ever tried to maintain a degree of social etiquette with a toddler? If your toddler is anything like mine, then you probably failed despite your best efforts.
My most recent attempt was at a friend’s wedding last weekend. My daughter is loud and active, so we sat in an empty pew near the back so that she could wiggle or leave without causing a disruption.
However, she is also incredibly polite. When my husband did have to take her out, she waved and yelled “Bye! Bye!” until she was out of the sanctuary.
Adorable? Yes. Embarrassing? Slightly. But that’s to be expected.
I discovered a long time ago that it is almost impossible to maintain a proper degree of social etiquette with a toddler. So unless it’s a big occasion (like a wedding), I don’t. Instead I try to direct her chaotic energy in acceptable ways.
For instance, grocery shopping is a nightmare for most parents I know. They make a list, they put their kid in the cart and they race against the clock to get everything. If they don’t, their child may run around and play, making them look bad as parents. I think that’s a terrible way to go shopping.
My approach is to let my daughter help. She can play with the boxes and put them in the cart. She even helps push the cart. If she’s especially rowdy and doesn’t want to help, my husband will play games with her or help her do flips. One time they grabbed canisters of Maxwell House and started playing them like they were drums.
I’m sure etiquette gurus are probably groaning by now, asking themselves “How can she think this is okay?” What I wonder in reply is why isn’t it okay?
So what if my daughter cheers for prayers instead of staying quiet? Or hugs children she doesn’t know on the playground? Or sings to an imaginary audience in the grocery store? She’s a wonderfully polite, enchantingly curious child. She’s still learning.
Am I teaching her proper manners and behavior? I’m doing my best. I whispered with her as long as I could at my friend’s wedding before she had to go. No matter how hard I try, there will always be times when she yells at the top of her lungs because she thinks she’s being polite. However, I refuse to be ashamed of this learning process. It’s much more delightful to enjoy it while it lasts.