At one time I wanted to major in psychology. I even scheduled classes, but I never followed through and I don’t think I ever will.
My fascination with psychology started as a child. Being born with a birth defect can make a person extremely self-aware. I could notice people looking at me strangely and I heard people talk about me differently.
This judgment caused me to ask questions, such as: Why do some people treat me differently than others? Why do other kids with cleft lips get so excited when they see me? Most importantly, why do I even care?
These questions and my interest in psychology stayed with me through my entire tenure in Dayton Public Schools, but due to other interests, a lack of focus and for fear of becoming an outcast, I always tried to keep these things hidden.
That all changed when I came to Sinclair Community College.
At Sinclair I have taken many communications, philosophy and science classes that have helped me understand a lot about human beings, but they have also stimulated some concerns.
I would like to believe in free will because I want to feel like I am in charge of my own life, but I am slowly coming to the conclusion that this may not be the complete truth.
Theories like the Interpersonal Needs Theory, concepts like Descartes view of the world as a big machine and various things I have learned in science have caused me to view us human beings as stimulus-response determined animals, driven by chemicals with much less free will than I ever dreamed of.
I do not like that.
Simplifying human beings into concepts and theories reduces us and ignores our uniqueness as individuals.
I personally feel too detached from reality if I focus too much on theories and I have been told that I would be introduced to a lot of them if I studied psychology.
So for those reasons I have chosen to experience this world as a writer, rather than observe it as a thinker.
As the old saying goes, ignorance is bliss.