Last June my husband was laid off from his job and I found myself the breadwinner in our family. Though he still hasn’t found work, he has found new purpose in being a stay-at-home dad while I work and go to school.
I thought I was in a unique situation, but as it turns out more and more families are relying on the woman to generate the majority of the income or earn the more advanced degree. This is largely due to the fact that men held 82 percent of the jobs lost during the recession, according to The New York Times.
In addition to men holding fewer jobs in the workplace, women are making more money as a group than ever before. The Pew Research Center released a report on Jan. 19 that found that men gain economic status when they marry, meaning that they are in a better financial position due to their wife’s income. This is the first time in 40 years that a man is more likely to be in a better financial position because of a marriage.
These changing gender roles are creating some internal conflict according to the Families and Work Institute. Their 2008 National Study of the Changing Workforce found that the level of work-life conflict, or conflict due to working and taking care of household duties, has increased significantly for men but not for women. In fact, fathers in dual-earner couples experienced significantly more of this conflict than those in single-earner families, which had never been the case in previous studies.
“Men are beginning to feel the effects of assuming greater responsibilities for family work by experiencing more conflict, and men and women in dual-earner families especially are facing challenges in managing the day-to-day realities of their lives in a highly pressured 24/7 work environment. The current economic downturn adds to these pressures,” the study said.
As a woman who both supports her family and goes to school full time, I’m not sure if all of these changing gender roles are always good. Yes, I’m glad that women are making strides toward equality in the workplace. However, I can’t imagine the difficulty that men across the country face when they stay at home because they have to, not because they want to.
I’m very thankful that my husband, who was forced to stay at home, has committed himself to my success at work and at school. I can only pray for the ones who are unable or unwilling to make similar commitments to their families. Gender roles are changing, whether we like it or not.