The year is 2016 and people genuinely don’t know how to act like decent humans anymore. There are racially provoked crimes. Some people still don’t think it’s okay for same-sex couples to get married.
What has the world come to?
So, this week’s ‘How To’ feels like one I shouldn’t need to be writing, but since some of y’all don’t know how to act here’s some advice for getting your attitude together and being decent again.
First of all, learn to say nice things or hold your tongue. Just because the first thing that comes to mind is “hey, that guy is wearing socks with Crocs, what a loser” does not mean you should actually say it.
Believe or not you could just not say anything about it. Alternatively, you could find something nice to comment on like “hey man, that’s a sweet fanny pack you got there.”
While we’re on this topic, you don’t need to talk smack about everyone you meet. Just because you’re sitting with your friends people watching doesn’t mean you guys need to comment on that girl’s hair or that guy’s bald spot.
You don’t have your life together just like everyone else. We are all some degree of a hot mess. Let people deal with their messy lives how they see fit.
Keeping on the topic of talking to and dealing with other people I can’t believe I have to mention to this… But can we start respecting other people’s beliefs?
No one is saying you have to agree with everyone. I don’t expect you to. There are so many cultural, religious and political belief systems out there that it would be insane for everyone to have the same one.
All I’m suggesting is to not attack someone else’s beliefs or opinions and to simply respect them. If you don’t agree with them, just don’t talk about them. It’s actually quite simple.
I understand that dealing with people can be a challenge though. Sometimes you want to flake out or ghost them because you don’t have the willpower to put up with them anymore. As simple as that sounds, it’s still not cool either.
There’s actually a nicer way to deal with these kind of people and situations. You could politely tell them “hey, I don’t see our conversations going anywhere. I’m just not interested in talking anymore.” I know it sounds like a pain to be confrontational, but it will spare the other person’s feelings in the long run. Plus, you look like less of a jerk.
Now that we’ve moved onto making you look like less of a savage when you’re trying to make plans, remember to be on time. In fact, you should just arrive a few minutes early. If you are going to be late though, call someone and let them know.
If you think you are so important as to make everyone else wait for you and be attuned to your internal clock, then you are seriously too self-absorbed for this world.
Also, in order to get up and be early for things, you need to quit being a lazy sack of crap. It’s 2016 and your phone has an alarm. Set it for twice as early as you think you need, then set another one, and another one. Set 50 alarms if you really can’t get things done on time.
While you’re setting alarms, make sure you set some reminders for all the important dates in your life. Forgetting dates just shows the people in your life that you don’t care enough about them to remember their birthdays, anniversaries and bar mitzvahs.
Speaking of cell phones, put that electronic piece of plastic away at the dinner table. If you are out to eat with other people, you don’t need it out. Honestly, the face-to-face conversations you could be having are going to be way more stimulating and fun than staring at a screen.
If you do feel like you’re high and mighty and need your phone at dinner, you should limit the cell-phone-at-dinner time to about two minutes. That’s 120 seconds throughout the whole meal. Break it down however you feel but no more than a total of two minutes of cell phone time.
You could also stop stressing over the little things in life and learn to be more patient.
Your server will come by your table with your check at some point. You don’t have to tap your foot in line at the DMV. All things will come to those who wait.
Now for the most important life tip for being a decent human.
Don’t text ‘k’ in response to anything to anyone ever.
That is a letter, not a word. You could send ‘ok’ and still not be quite as insufferable. If you want to ruin someone’s day, send a single letter in response to a long text. If you want to devour someone’s soul, send ‘k’ after they spill their love to you. If you want to be a terrible human, send a lazy single letter text.
If you want to be a decent human though, try to do at least one or two of the things I’ve mentioned here.
Brittany Fletcher
Designer/Intern